Choosing your bridesmaids is one of the most important parts of the wedding process for many women. Up there with finding the dress of your dreams, your bridesmaids are likely to be people you are close to, trust and want right beside you on your big day. But of course, sometimes it can be hard to make the decision about exactly who you’re going to choose. From balancing family politics, to best friends who just aren’t suited to the job, to not alienating any friends, the supposedly straightforward task of choosing your bridesmaids can soon become a minefield.
But never fear, with hundreds of successful weddings under our belt, over the years we’ve picked up some really helpful things to think about before you chose your bridesmaids.

There’s no hard and fast rule on how many bridesmaids you can have. You can have just 1 or a dozen, but a good place to start is to sit down with your fiancé and chat about it. Often brides and grooms like to have an even number of groomsmen and bridesmaids, so it’s a good idea to co-ordinate with him on it. Of course there’s no rule to say the numbers have to be even, but do think about how the numbers will impact basic things like the physical space available around the altar at your ceremony, how uneven or even numbers will impact on your pictures and the space at the top table. Plus there are budgetary concerns to think of as well, in terms of dresses, shoes, accessories and hair and makeup for your bridesmaids.

Out of all the traits a bridesmaid should have, these two are probably the most important things too look for. It’s a given that you’ll chose people people who care about you and are excited to be involved in the wedding, but someone who will be honest when you ask an opinion is worth their weight in gold. It doesn’t mean you have to look for someone who is going to be over-the-top blunt, but if they can find a nice way to tell you that maybe a certain style of dress doesn’t make the most of your figure or having an up-do doesn’t suit your face, for example, you’ll thank them in the end.
Weddings can be stressful at times, so it’s also crucial you have someone who isn’t fazed by any dramas or indeed any of your ‘bridezilla’ moments, especially at that time a few days before the wedding when things can get a bit crazy. There’s also a good chance they’ll spend most of the wedding day running around doing jobs for you and even helping negotiate the bathroom in your dress, so a calm customer is a must.

Unfortunately not everyone is suited to being a bridesmaid. They might hate the idea of being forced to wear a frock and walk down the aisle, they might not be a social butterfly and are terrified of having to mingle with your guests or they just might not be the type who likes to organise and plan things. So whomever you chose, make sure they actually want to do it! There’s nothing worse than forcing someone, when the thought fills them with dread.
Also being a bridesmaid will make serious demands on your friend’s time for dress shopping, fittings, hen party planning, not to mention various meetings about everything from décor to flowers…. And let’s not forget being on call in case of any pre-wedding dramas! So if the person you’re considering leads a very busy life and just cannot spare the time, then they may not be the right choice, much as you’d want them to be.

For some women choosing a bridesmaid or bridesmaids is relatively straightforward, for example if you’ve one sister, a best friend and get on really well with your fiancés sister, then your choice is pretty simple. But alas not everyone has that luxury. You might have 4 or 5 sisters or none at all! You might not be close with your sisters but are with your cousins. You might have 10 really close friends and you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by leaving someone out. You might not get on with your partners sister, but still feel obliged to ask them to be a bridesmaid. Or your friend may have had you as bridesmaid at their wedding and so you now feel you’ve to return the favour.
It can be a tough call to make. But there are things you can do to make sure all of your close friends and family feel included in your day. Why not ask them to do a reading or special reflection at the ceremony or bring up offerings or if they are really creative ask them to help you with making some DIY favours or invitations? Ask for their input on your cake, or include them on the wedding morning hair and makeup fun.